Well, I started work yesterday. It was really cool.. I think I lucked out actually have finding a nice spa, with someone who's going to take me on as an apprentice, and not book me back to back with appointments. Aside from a mani/pedi, I'm on reception til the end of the month.
So, the conversation with Nic went well that night. He said its easier to blame someone else for things than to accept responsibility yourself. I can relate to that. On the flip side... I still don't like her. It's probably me being jealous... I don't know. I don't like the way she tries to tell me how my relationship is, or how much she knows him. I've been dating him for almost 5 years now.. I think I would know. Right? So that's a little bit bothersome, but not overly I guess.
I wonder like if anyone is ever 100% happy with the person their with... and if they are how long does it last? I just feel like I'm giving it my all and I don't feel like I'm enough. Maybe because I'm not enough for myself... that automatically makes me think I'm not enough for everyone else. Little things go a long way however.. like telling me I look good when I don't pester you for an answer. Or random sex, that's always good.
I'm gonna try not to think about it much. Anyways, today I had 2 pieces of toast... granted its only 10:23 I don't want to eat much else today. I'm going down again and I don't want to fuck it up this time. It's so much easier just losing, rather than having to lose what you gained from binging and then trying to go down again. I say don't too much.
Jenaly is supposed to be moving at the end of March. I'm going to miss that girl. We told each other everything, and in these days its hard to find someone that will keep your secrets. That lives close to you. Because it's not like i haven't said it before... everyone I ever get close with aside from Nic, always ends up moving, and you always say your going to stay in touch but ya know... it hasn't worked thus far and I'm not confident that it will again.
I miss my promise ring. It fell off cause it got to big for my finger, and it makes me sad. I feel like I have a lot of problems. I miss the summer... when people started complimenting me and important people started noticing me. Well, I wouldn't exactly call Winnipeg club people important but it was kind of cool going to whatever bar I wanted and having people that were excited to see me there. Photographers, midgets... ok.. the midget was scary, but he was... yeah just creepy actually.
Anyways, I'm gonna go shower, study some treatments and clean this shit hole up again.
Glad to hear your talk went well Mars! And I know relationships are so hard.. Zach and I go through phases of perfection then back to problems, I dont think its possible for a 100 % always perfect relationship.. all problems help both of you and the relationship grow in a positive way anyways! :). and You've been together for 5 years, you probably don't have much to worry about.
ReplyDelete& friendships.. Yeah.. I hear you man, I gave up on looking for best friends. Everyone I know has let me down or we've lost touch as well. I just think of it as this is the time in our lifetimes were we are so busy trying to set ourselves up with careers ..amungst other things.. I think later in life when we are settled down and whatnot everyone forms new , long lasting friendships .
& that sucks about your promise ring! I have been having the same problem with mine I got for xmas, it's already starting to get loose. I think I'll resize it i dnot want that to happen to me!
good luck with your diet. are you still on abc?